Causality
I have this video in my favourites and every so often I watch it. I am in the process of changing jobs. I’m now self employed in a high risk industry. So it can be tough and at those points I often consider going back to my highly paid but unfulfilling ex-career.
There is a bit in all of us that cringes when we see guys like this but he is actually very good. If the viewer suspends his or her cynicism it makes sense. I’ve lived what he is saying & come out the other side so I can attest to that.
I watched it again today and it made me wonder whether 7 years of career hell had anything to do with my drinking habits. Well it certainly wasn’t the root of it. That started long before I began my career. But being unhappy doesn’t help keep alcohol under control. It can be used as an escape or a way to self destruct (to internalise your frustration).
In short happiness provides balance which is good for anyone who struggles to moderate or abstain.
Secrets
Here is a link for anyone who feels they are alone. Have you ever asked yourself how many secrets you have?
I have three. Seeing an alcohol councillor is one of them.
The others….mind your own business!
Two Cans Short of a Four Pack
I’m firmly in the safe zone right now. My intake is under 21 units a week and I haven’t been anything more than merry for a fortnight. Last night I had two cans & left the other two in the fridge. That is a first! No really it IS a first. If alcohol is there it usually gets drunk.
I’ve been hunting for blogs on moderation but have found none. Is this because it is too tame a subject? After all alcoholism is an extremity. It is something for which journaling is recommended and it is something that provides dramatic moments. Perhaps there is more to write about. Not so for moderation?
Calling All Moderators
The AA crowd are very visible on the net. I’ve been wondering whether moderators have a constituency too. So I checked my blog stats in which the seach engine terms used to locate me are recorded.
It seems there are quite a few of you. Some who simply want a ‘moderate drinking plan’ & others who ask ‘why cant I drink normally like my friends’.
Well it is nice to know I’m not alone. Perhaps we should have a party. The greatest mass memory loss in history. On second thoughts that might not be a good idea.
Well if your trying to moderate & are reading this please comment or post links to blogs or anything else you found useful.
Cheers
NormalAbnormalDrinker.
Snowball Effect
Since I got back from England I’ve regained control of my alcohol intake. The snowball effect of last week is working in reverse. The less often I drink the more control I have when I do drink. Last Friday I went out & drank myself drunk but since then I’ve found myself setting limits & respecting boundaries. Each day I don’t drink adds to the control. My rule of not drinking 2 days in a row is important for this reason.
I wonder if the snowball effect is psychological or chemical?
I moved back in with family 6 months ago. There were several reasons not relating to alcohol. But I knew it is a safe environment where I wouldn’t be tempted to drink heavily. Partly because they don’t and partly because their opinion is very important to me. I will probably move out soon as I’m getting bored of it. Very bored! I will have to be careful because I will be removing the most important alcohol safety valve I have. It is a concern but mostly I’m excited by the prospect.
The Romantic Drunk
Most of the dots on my hit map come from North America and the UK. I have others from Scandinavia & Australia. Having been to all these places I am not suprised in the least.
Alcohol is culturally revered in the UK & it is no different in these countries. The reticent drunk is a romantacised icon for multitudes of drinkers. He (and it is a he) symbolises the uncomprmising aloof soul. A free spirit who would rather drink than be shackled by societal norms. He is that part within each of us who want to escape.
I have some sympathy with this idea. We live in a society which is hugely regulated. There are multitudes of by-laws constraining every act of individual choice. A thousand variations of ‘Don’t Walk On The Grass’. The first time I went to Oz in ‘99 I was struck by the freedom from petty rules. I noticed a difference in the people as well. They seem more practical than Brits. This is because they can & do make choices everyday. Brits have those choices made for them. I went back recently and I could see the petty rules appearing. For example it is now illegal to travel in the back of a Ute. Another freedom lost.
Alcohol gives us a temporary mental freedom from the rules. Alcohol is an accomplice in rule breaking. The problem comes when we break laws that are worthy of the statute book such as drink driving or assault. Balance is key.
I’d just love to smash every speed camera in my road but these days I’d do it sober. Alcohol is not required to break rules if you know you are in the right.
On Standby
When you need a break from yourself & life alcohol is a good friend. I’m not talking about hard life event. Sometimes the day to day gets wearing and I want a break from thinking, feeling……operating. I drink wine till I only function at a low level. Like a TV in standby. Relaxing doesn’t come easily so assistance is required.
However regular drinking is habit forming so I’ve largely stopped doing this. I miss it though.
