First Step
Whatever you say say it with with confidence.
ME: Imposed myself into a group of four guys (I knew one but noth the other three) looked them in the eyes & spoke loudly & with confidence giving my opinion on the football game we’d just watched.
THEM: Adopted positive body language turning their shoulder toward me & making eye contact.
Better.
Backing Myself
“The years of gin have broken him & left him cold where he fitted in.”
As I leave the path of normal abnormality & become simply moderately immoderate I’ve realised there is another challenge. I need to rebuild the qualities which alcohol destroyed. The principle of these is assertiveness or more simply guts.
I wouldn’t say I was ever the bravest of the brave but I knew who I was & what I would not compromise on. As the booze took my confidence I developed bad habits. I stopped making eye contact, began to believe that compromise could be used in every situation. I became uncomfortable with any confrontation. It has to be recognised that confrontation is a part of life. Some things are objectionable & unacceptable & must be challenged.
I can feel the confidence returning with each new day of moderation. But it needs something extra. I need to take a stand in a few small ways so that when it comes to big plays I will back myself.
I need to
- look everyone in the eye.
- present confidence at all times through my voice & my body
- realise that people’s issues are their issues
Monday Itch
I’ve got the itch to drink.
It is because I drank Friday, Saturday & Sunday. I didn’t get drunk except Friday & even then it wasn’t a heavy drunk. Regardless I’ve got the itch.
Being cognizant of these patterns is one of the big gains of this blog. It is the awareness that keeps me ahead of the game. Helps me make the right choices.
I’ve got the itch but so what. I know how I got here & how’ll I’ll get out.
Childlike Chipperness
You know that time in your twenties where your a cheeky little f**k with an impish grin & the energy of a jungle cat?
Well all happy healthy people retain an element of that into later life. For me it disappeared a few years ago but really it had just been given a general anaesthetic by beer & spirits.
Mid April I took a weeks holiday during which we drank almost every night. Prior to that holiday & during it my inner imp was playing around. But by the end of the week he was going to sleep drugged on alcohol. Then I got back to my usual drinking rules & within a week he was back. But it took a week because like indulgence abstinence has a cumulative effect. It takes time. Especially as you get older.
I missed that little barsteward!
Drinkers’ Triple Play
Three songs that every problem drinker should be aware of. Hope you like them…..
#1 – Gill Scott Heron – A true lyrical & musical genius.
#2 – Wet Wet Wet – Hold Back The River. A band which refuses to have any alcohol company sponsorship at their gigs. And yes I know it’s the Wets but you may be suprised to learn of their Soul roots.
#3 – Marillion – Going Under – The lead singer (drinks like a) ‘Fish’ was an alcoholic. This whole album was about his problem.
