Cold Turkey
In stark contrast to my drinking days I have been sleeping like a baby lately. During my days of excess I’d wake up at 4am precisely, my mind racing with nervous energy, my eyes bloodshot with fatigue. And yes the cliche is true. You really do wonder who you are and what you’re doing with your life at those moments.
When I cut back my drinking something else happened. I began to have nightmares and wake up drenched in sweat. On many occasions I woke up fighting with imaginary opponents. My fists would be flailing out above me as if an opponent was levitating above my bed. It strikes me that this is symptomatic of withdrawal. I’d have thought this is the sort of thing that only happens to junkies but apparently not.
Now I sleep 7 hours or so, dream pleasantly and wake refreshed. There really is a greener valley over the next peak.
Childlike Chipperness
You know that time in your twenties where your a cheeky little f**k with an impish grin & the energy of a jungle cat?
Well all happy healthy people retain an element of that into later life. For me it disappeared a few years ago but really it had just been given a general anaesthetic by beer & spirits.
Mid April I took a weeks holiday during which we drank almost every night. Prior to that holiday & during it my inner imp was playing around. But by the end of the week he was going to sleep drugged on alcohol. Then I got back to my usual drinking rules & within a week he was back. But it took a week because like indulgence abstinence has a cumulative effect. It takes time. Especially as you get older.
I missed that little barsteward!
Rejoining The World
My brother said I was turning into a recluse the other day. He’s right but he doesn’t know why. It’s been easier to set things straight by removing myself from the world. Plus I was generally tired of life & a break from society really helped me re-find my enthusiasm.
Now I’ve reached a significant milestone (see last post) I think I’ll re-join the human race. This has potential pitfalls but with the worst of my alcohol habits behind me & my re-found ability to make positive choices I’m confident it will be ok.
Some things I am looking forward to:
- My own flat with NO housemates.
- Strumming my guitar on the suntrap of a balcony
- Making some new friends.
- Meeting women that make the pulse race.
- Driving my car to the country & lazing in a sunny meadow.
- The rest of my beautiful & interesting life.
Lent
In researching ABV I came across this following links:
Alcohol Free Shop & Alcohol Free Week
I must admit to cringing at both. For the former it is the drinkers cringe. The cringe that dismisses out of hand anything which contradicts our proud & foolish tradition of hard drinking. Yet on reflection I have drunk alcohol free Becks when someone bought it accidentally. In all honesty I couldn’t taste the difference.
For the latter it is an anti-fad cringe. The fad of having a week & a day for every cause & needy group. But again a closer look changes my mind. Alcohol Free Week is piggybacking on week one of Lent (21st Feb). It is simply a re-working of an old tradition. I could see myself doing this one.
