Causality
I have this video in my favourites and every so often I watch it. I am in the process of changing jobs. I’m now self employed in a high risk industry. So it can be tough and at those points I often consider going back to my highly paid but unfulfilling ex-career.
There is a bit in all of us that cringes when we see guys like this but he is actually very good. If the viewer suspends his or her cynicism it makes sense. I’ve lived what he is saying & come out the other side so I can attest to that.
I watched it again today and it made me wonder whether 7 years of career hell had anything to do with my drinking habits. Well it certainly wasn’t the root of it. That started long before I began my career. But being unhappy doesn’t help keep alcohol under control. It can be used as an escape or a way to self destruct (to internalise your frustration).
In short happiness provides balance which is good for anyone who struggles to moderate or abstain.
Nature Abhors a Vacuum
I spent a large part of today reading ‘Road To Recovery’. I found a lot of cross-over in our reasons for problem drinking & said so in a comment. Unfortunately I think I sounded a little like a patronising parent which was not my intention. Apologies to Josh if he is reading.
I’d like to pick up on one common redemptive theme. Josh chronicles a re-discovery of his pre-drinking interests. Writing a novel for example.
Before I was a heavy drinker I had a lot of intellectual curiosity, I read the broadsheets & a lot of non-fiction and I always wanted to write. But hangovers destroy the intellect. My attention span shrank in proportion with my vocabulary & vitality. I was stupefied.
Before I became soaked in toxin I was vain about my body. I’d pump weights, run & play football (badly). Have you ever tried playing 90 minutes drunk or with an appalling hangover? I did this regularly in my early twenties. As I got older I gave up these things one by one. Even playing fives 24 hours after a session was difficult. Jogging was the only exercise I periodically returned to and it was painful every time.
I know there are examples of achievers who could function & drink heavily. Churchill, Jeffrey Bernard (imperfectly so) & some athletes for example. But for me drunkenness & hangovers are extremely limiting. In fact the only thing I could do with a hangover was have another drink.
With the drastic cutbacks in consumption I’ve noticed the return of interests. Like nature returning to reclaim an abandoned city. During late summer I ran every 48 hours. Then I joined the gym where I pushed weights. As my curiosity came back I took boxing lessons. I renewed my library membership. Then I started blogging. In parallel I’ve been developing a new money making venture. Just this week I bought a guitar and I’m teaching myself to play from scratch.
These activities aren’t part of some master-plan. It is just my nature re-asserting itself in the space alcohol double parked in.
