Childlike Chipperness
You know that time in your twenties where your a cheeky little f**k with an impish grin & the energy of a jungle cat?
Well all happy healthy people retain an element of that into later life. For me it disappeared a few years ago but really it had just been given a general anaesthetic by beer & spirits.
Mid April I took a weeks holiday during which we drank almost every night. Prior to that holiday & during it my inner imp was playing around. But by the end of the week he was going to sleep drugged on alcohol. Then I got back to my usual drinking rules & within a week he was back. But it took a week because like indulgence abstinence has a cumulative effect. It takes time. Especially as you get older.
I missed that little barsteward!
More WP Search Terms
‘i binge drink it makes me paranoid’
It’s not just drugs that make you paranoid. Having a hangover can have similar effects to a drug comedown. I found prolonged exposure to alcohol made my hangovers mental battles. I’d have a lot of negative thoughts & a general feeling of fear. The combination is paranoia.
I can still remember the last hangover of this type I had. I was sitting in the sun in my back garden on a beautiful summers day. The birds were singing & my family were making lunch. All was good in the world but in my head there was a battle going on. It was horrible.
I’ve had the occasional hangover since but none of the mental symptoms. This is because I am now only an occasional drinker. The effects of alcohol are cumulative. The toxicity builds up, the damage isn’t repaired fast enough and then you pour more fuel on the fire. That is when the paranoia kicks in.
And don’t forget alcohol affects your sleep which is crucial to mental health!
Truffle Shuffle
Like a lardy Peacock I donned my state of the art running gear. Resplendent in my brilliant white running trainers and Mediterranean blue breathable top I ate up the miles. Binmen stared in awe as I sped <ahem> by.
Behold my mighty works ye fatties & despair!
Lard
I went to a specialist running shop yesterday & picked up some shoes & clothing. I stopped short of the lycra running bottoms you’ll be glad to know.
So tomorrow I have drag my lardy self running or I’ll have wasted £170. There is a set of stairs at the local high school I’m going to have a Rocky moment on. This being Glasgow I may then have to fight some delinquents which is good anerobic work.
Rocky Rocky Rocky!
Causality
I have this video in my favourites and every so often I watch it. I am in the process of changing jobs. I’m now self employed in a high risk industry. So it can be tough and at those points I often consider going back to my highly paid but unfulfilling ex-career.
There is a bit in all of us that cringes when we see guys like this but he is actually very good. If the viewer suspends his or her cynicism it makes sense. I’ve lived what he is saying & come out the other side so I can attest to that.
I watched it again today and it made me wonder whether 7 years of career hell had anything to do with my drinking habits. Well it certainly wasn’t the root of it. That started long before I began my career. But being unhappy doesn’t help keep alcohol under control. It can be used as an escape or a way to self destruct (to internalise your frustration).
In short happiness provides balance which is good for anyone who struggles to moderate or abstain.
Moderate Drinking Plan
At the start of 2007 my drinking was daily & heavy. Over the year it has become far less frequent. It was second nature to drink when not working. Now it is habit not to drink. I am far more likely to crave tea than alcohol.
As I write I haven’t had a drink in nine days and have done so almost effortlessly. I can’t tell you how good I feel both physically & mentally. Earlier I talked to an old friend who describes me as prone to depression. She sees the alcohol as a symptom of the mental state. What I now know is that it is the other way round. Take away the alcohol and feel 100% positive as nature intended me to be.
However I have not mastered moderation when I do drink. I have had some small successes but it requires concentrated effort and it is easy to slip up. I don’t have the control & it is certainly not habit. In fact my habit of binging is still with me.
So this years challenge is to drink moderately. I want this to become second nature. I am meeting my councillor tomorrow to create a plan for when I drink socially. I will make a stab at it now so I get the most out of this meeting.
Triggers – social awkwardness (especially groups), stress, tiredness.
General -
- Drink in the afternoon or evening not both.
- Don’t drink two days in a row.
- Stay under the 21 unit weekly safety limit.
- Avoid heavy drinkers (if unavoidable be extra wary).
- Remember how good you feel now & how bad it has been.
Before Going Out –
- Understand my tolerance & frame that within the timescale. What is my upper limit and how do I avoid breaching it.
- Decide on my stopping criteria.
- It is better to be a sober & awkward than drunk & a fool.
- Eat
- Read the rules
When Out -
- Deal with triggers before drinking. Stress usually hits me in a wave which dissapates within thirty minutes. Breaking the ice, engaging in conversation, making a joke will make me feel more comfortable.
- The first drink should be a soft drink. I tend to neck the first drink and thus set myself up for continued quick drinking.
- Watch the speed. It should be measured against the slowest person. If your first your in trouble.
- Resist peer pressure & don’t drink something you didn’t ask for. Ask for weaker drinks.
- Stay atleast one drink behind (skip rounds & leave drinks rather than down, have a spacer not a chaser).
- Obey stopping criteria.
