Normal Abnormal Drinker

It’s been 5 months since I wrote in here & 11 months since I started this blog.

So Have I been successful?

Certainly the intake has shrunk & memory loss is very rare & slight occurrence. It is now an unconscious habit to moderate. Before I really had to concentrate to do so. I still have my moments however but the problem has lessened and is far easier to reign in when I notice poor habits re-emerging.

I still drink a little too much as a cumulative amount over the week. Often I’ll drink four nights a week, though not huge amounts, and after the 4th get nights sweats. So I’m aiming to cut that down to three nights.

What are the differences in my life?

The biggest differences are all psychological. My personnel confidence has risen dramatically, my mood is one of optimism and not fear (On a daily basis I was fearful!) and I am simply happier. It is as if I re-discovered my youthful self after years lost in a fearful wilderness of drink induced depression & paranoia.

Another difference is that my personnel fitness has returned. I don’t mean I have lost weight or anything. Rather I can run miles without feeling my body screaming at me. I used to run a lot during my drinking days but hell it was painful.

My brains appear to be back too!

What have I learned?

That my alcohol problem was just one of poor habit. I’d been drinking in an excessive way for so long that it had become second nature. I had to re-programme myself into good habits simply by concentration & hard work.

I enjoy myself a lot more when I do drink by drinking moderately. Mainly because I am a lot more likeable.

What would I recommend to anyone in the same position?

There are many things you can do (see earlier entries) but if I had to recommend one it would be to have a written plan. This is the most popular entry on my blog. Clearly this is what people find useful and it certainly helped me. I probably achieve only 60% of it regularly but that was enough to change my life around.

What is there still to do?

I need to get it it down just a little more. Maybe 25% less over the week. This is not because I see any huge impact on my mental state any more but rather because it may be damaging my physical health. I am confident I can do this as these days I control alcohol it does not control me.

My specific target is to drink no more than 3 out of 7 nights and make sure I get 3 nights on the trot without any alcohol.

What is a control test? If I remember my science classes correctly you begin with a control test & document the results. Then you change one aspect of the way the test is administered & record the second set of results. If you are seeking to test six singular variables you would run seven tests. One control test & six variations. By the end you could tell what singular tests created what changes.

My attempts to moderate my drinking have many variables. But they have never been put to the test against the control test. Why? Well the environment where my drinking really became impossible was London. My feeling is that if there is one place which will act a true test of my moderation techniques (or variables) it is London.

So here I am in North London considering the weekends drinking. It wasn’t perfect but I have no memory loss and I’ve been able to stop myself lapsing into my old extreme ways. I drank a lot of shandy (that is one half lager, one half lemonade) & made sure to eat well before drinking. Crucially I didn’t drink at speed but rather paced myself. I could do with being a little more polished in my approach but it was a good start.