Rejoining The World
My brother said I was turning into a recluse the other day. He’s right but he doesn’t know why. It’s been easier to set things straight by removing myself from the world. Plus I was generally tired of life & a break from society really helped me re-find my enthusiasm.
Now I’ve reached a significant milestone (see last post) I think I’ll re-join the human race. This has potential pitfalls but with the worst of my alcohol habits behind me & my re-found ability to make positive choices I’m confident it will be ok.
Some things I am looking forward to:
- My own flat with NO housemates.
- Strumming my guitar on the suntrap of a balcony
- Making some new friends.
- Meeting women that make the pulse race.
- Driving my car to the country & lazing in a sunny meadow.
- The rest of my beautiful & interesting life.
Lard
I went to a specialist running shop yesterday & picked up some shoes & clothing. I stopped short of the lycra running bottoms you’ll be glad to know.
So tomorrow I have drag my lardy self running or I’ll have wasted £170. There is a set of stairs at the local high school I’m going to have a Rocky moment on. This being Glasgow I may then have to fight some delinquents which is good anerobic work.
Rocky Rocky Rocky!
Nature Abhors a Vacuum
I spent a large part of today reading ‘Road To Recovery’. I found a lot of cross-over in our reasons for problem drinking & said so in a comment. Unfortunately I think I sounded a little like a patronising parent which was not my intention. Apologies to Josh if he is reading.
I’d like to pick up on one common redemptive theme. Josh chronicles a re-discovery of his pre-drinking interests. Writing a novel for example.
Before I was a heavy drinker I had a lot of intellectual curiosity, I read the broadsheets & a lot of non-fiction and I always wanted to write. But hangovers destroy the intellect. My attention span shrank in proportion with my vocabulary & vitality. I was stupefied.
Before I became soaked in toxin I was vain about my body. I’d pump weights, run & play football (badly). Have you ever tried playing 90 minutes drunk or with an appalling hangover? I did this regularly in my early twenties. As I got older I gave up these things one by one. Even playing fives 24 hours after a session was difficult. Jogging was the only exercise I periodically returned to and it was painful every time.
I know there are examples of achievers who could function & drink heavily. Churchill, Jeffrey Bernard (imperfectly so) & some athletes for example. But for me drunkenness & hangovers are extremely limiting. In fact the only thing I could do with a hangover was have another drink.
With the drastic cutbacks in consumption I’ve noticed the return of interests. Like nature returning to reclaim an abandoned city. During late summer I ran every 48 hours. Then I joined the gym where I pushed weights. As my curiosity came back I took boxing lessons. I renewed my library membership. Then I started blogging. In parallel I’ve been developing a new money making venture. Just this week I bought a guitar and I’m teaching myself to play from scratch.
These activities aren’t part of some master-plan. It is just my nature re-asserting itself in the space alcohol double parked in.
